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Cannon explores the sub-plain just to stumble onto something that throws her into a rage.

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Critique please.
Comments4
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:star::star::star::star::star-half: Overall
:star::star::star::star::star-empty: Vision
:star::star::star::star::star: Originality
:star::star::star::star::star-half: Technique
:star::star::star::star::star: Impact

Very, Very creative. You can feel what the characters are going through. It makes a lot of sense, and it's really out-of-the-box writing. You have a little lack of vision, but nothing someone would normally notice unless they were an analyst. On the up side, you have a good feel. You made the characters real. Real enough for each person to associate with each character. You make each word believable and you make every action feel-able. You have a good feel on the area surrounding the characters and you are very descriptive. All in all, I give this 4.75 out of 5 Stars. Good Job. You get hugs.